September 2009
Last weekend, we attended a quintessentially Mexican dinner – not only as regards the food, but also the time (invited for 9:00 PM, we arrived at 9:30 PM and dinner was ready at about 11:00 PM).
Among the guests was an elderly couple (we later learned that he was 68, she about five years younger). As the evening progressed, the conversation got livelier, helped by a glass or two of wine and we asked the couple – Jose and Josefina - how long and since when they were together.
Apparently, they had known each other “toda la vida” as long as they remembered, for at least 53 years. At the age of 11, Josefina worked in the store belonging to her grandmother in Mexicali, where 15-year old Jose also worked. One day, when they were left alone in the store, Jose happened to touch Josefina’s hand - to help with a load, a baby she was in charge of at that moment - and grandmother who watched them through a peep-hole in the door got very upset and scolded Josefina badly. Jose, behind the door heard all and got scared. Thus, he took the few things he owned and left for his own home - without saying a thing to anyone. However, they did not lose contact since there were other ties between the families. Jose even took Josefina to the cinema once- when she was 18! It was on that occasion that he casually said he would like to marry her and she said “really?”, and this was the end of the story for the time being. No kiss, no physical closeness...and we are in the 1960's !
When Jose was 25, he announced to his parents with whom he continued to live, that he was going to marry and when asked to whom, he told them that it was Josefina whom he had in mind. The parents did not object, and next day a delegation – the parents, Jose and a few others – went to see Josefina's parents. It was the 8th of August. They were politely received by them and after the initial small talk, Josefina’s father finally asked what the purpose of their visit was. “We have come to ask for the hand of your daughter”, they said “But which one? There are 4 of them.” So they told them that the chosen one was Josefina, the eldest. The father was surprised but agreeable to the deal, with one condition however: a one-year waiting period. After the visit he told Josefina she needed to acquire the necessary skills of a good wife, such as doing his laundry – the brother’s underwear, specifically – and all the cooking of the house! The father of Josefina did not want to have his daughter returned to him because of lacking household knowhow. Josefina was - again - completely unaware of what was going on because Jose had never again talked to her or asked her whether she would marry him. Josefina - again - got to know what was going on by listening ...behind the door.
Well, Jose’s committee was able to persuade Josefina’s father to reduce the waiting period. The marriage petition took place on August 8, and on August 28 they were legally married at the registry of the town hall. Josefina continued to live and get training in her parents’ house till November when they were married in church according to their Catholic faith and only then were pronounced husband and wife and recognized as such by the families. And they are still together!
Jose had been building a big house with lots of rooms for the ten children they decided to have. In fact, they have one son.
All this took place just 43 years ago, i.e. in the year 1966 in Mexicali, just south of the border that separates Baja California, Mexico and California, USA.
Mexico has changed a lot in the 40+ years.
